Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Season of Change

Hello Dear Friends,
 I am feeling contrary today. I am feeling tired and,ummmm, not sure what the word is, maybe reflective. Today our youngest left for a road trip with her dear friend and well, I am happy for her. I am happy that we have taught her to be independent and a free spirit. I am sad that she is spreading her wings and flying further away. Let's face it, we raise them to be responsible and then we are sad when it is time for the to use the tools that they have to just live life.
 So many changes are upon me. This has been my last year of home schooling my children. They have each graduated now and that season of our lives is over. I was ready for it to be over, ready to move on but still sad and well reflecting back on all the things I will miss about having our children so near!
 Then of course there have been such big changes with my Mother since March. 
She always spent hours working in her gardens and helping each of us. 
She helped because it was her delight to do so. She was always the first one to volunteer to help and willing to do any job there was. My Mother is not a complainer, she still does not complain. Now, would other people say that about me? No, I don't think they would. She is so sick and now needs someone to take care of her. She often doesn't feel well but she doesn't complain and she is always so grateful. Again, my life has changed because of her in so many ways. I am watching her struggle and fight for good days...I see things that are slipping away. I know that none of our lives will be the same. A new season, a very different season.
 I have known that there was a new season coming and I have been worried about it. Worried that I make good choices about what I am to do. I do not have the answers yet but I am waiting and listening to see what God has planned for me. Sometimes the waiting is the difficult part...but really it is the that still small whisper...from the one who already knows all answers.


Storybook Woods said...

Dear Dianntha, you have sooo much happening right now. You have to be good to yourself. It is hard to raises these babies, give fully of ourselves and then say goodbye. Even though we know it is what must be done. I have been HSing for 20 years (since I feel like I have been doing it since day one). That is a LONG time!!!

I know it will not be easy to move to a new season of my life, even though I look forward to it. (I am running around too much right now). So be kind, gentle and loving w/ yourself xooxox Clarice

Jenni said...

Oh, I can imagine just how hard that would be to let your children go! When I think of it, I get a huge lump in my not ready for that yet! I agree with Clarice, go a little easy on yourself. It sounds like you are such a wonderful mother who has given so much! You have a lot to be proud of, I think!

I will say a prayer for you that God will give you the grace and strength you need. :) I know He will.


Frazzled Farm Wife said... difficult to take!

Lili Bear said...

This is a very sensitive post. I know I have said this to you a couple of times on other posts, but really, your words find the way straight to my heart and I often think "she is right, I couldn't say things better". Actually, I wish I could say things the way you say them, with your heart and soul.
I believe that one day, you will find the purpose to all this. I love the saying "I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much." This is just how I believe you sometimes feel these days. And probably your mum too, sweetie.
The hardest part in being a mum is having to let them go and live their life. I don't think we ever feel the same sense of being complete once they're gone. A new woman has to emerge, and she will. In time. It's all about patience.
Prayers sent your way.