Friday, August 21, 2015

August: A Month of Change

Hello Dear Friends,
   I have been busy dragging out all the new fall items for the shop. I have fallen in love with this wreath so I am going to hang one of them on my front porch! I am wondering why I didn't order more than two of them! I have had so many boxes to open and sort that some times it is just exhausting! I am resting today since I had such a big day yesterday because tonight is date night with hubby and I want to be rested for it!
This is not even half of the boxes that I have in the shed....Christmas is shipping!
 

  August is such a hard month. This is the month that I lost my Mother, the month she entered the gates of Heaven.  I know she was ready and happy to go but our lives are so changed forever. I do not believe the grieving ever leaves, it hasn't for me. But it changes who you are and how you look at things, how you listen to people, how you watch events happen. Everything changes. I believe I am a better person than I was, I want my parents to be proud of the the legacy they gave me and of my choices. I know that they are just in a different dimension but are ever present in my heart and thoughts. I work very hard at my business because I want it to represent who they raised me to be. I want my kids to be proud of me as their parent and of the changes I have made to my life!
   Grief is a tool of change, it is uncomfortable and difficult. If you haven't been through it you don't understand it. There are choices that you make that changes your life! I miss my Mom every day. I have tears when I think about calling her and remember that she is gone. This week I had that feeling that I was waiting for her so I could tell her something and later realized that I can no longer wait ...she is waiting on me...she will be there to greet me and I have tears of joy when I think of that...heartbreaking tears of loneliness...oh how I miss her. We will meet again, we will be together again...but the longing remains. Those days when I feel her so close. The dreams of have of her handing me something. The butterflies that remind me of her and her love for her beautiful gardens...the gardens she planted for me. Yes, her spirit is in Heaven but her love remains here. I will go on because that is what we do. We long for Heaven but we work to make each day the best it can be. 
  August is a hard month.



2 comments:

Primitive Stars said...

Love the wreath, Blessings Francine.

Colleen said...

Wonderful tribute to your mom. I lost mine too a few years ago... was just crying about it today. It changes you. I am not the same and I agree 100% with what you said!! You have good insight. If you haven't been through it, you don't understand it. There are no words.