Thursday, September 29, 2011

31 Days of Whimsy

I am joining the fun for the 31 Days of Whimsy! Well, it is really 31 days of ??? Mine is whimsy.  I found information about it at I  am excited to see what all the ladies will be writing about.  I have been working on a few things very slowly but I will share in the next 31 days! I do want to think Michele for making my great button. She did a wonderful job and I think she must be pretty generous to volunteer to make it for me!!! It is wonderful.

You might be asking why whimsy? Well, mainly because I could not settle on one topic so I am going to just begin and ramble look out!
 I would again like to thank all of you for  your kind words and support..and prayers. Please continue to remember me in your prayers because I have so many really weepy days. I am lonely without her but I am trying to keep going, ever so slowly but I am here. Hope you join in the fun...Blessings to you.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Today is a new start?

Today doesn't feel like a new day, but today I am trying to make some positive changes. Now don't get me wrong, I am still crying over just about everything, I still want to sit on the sofa and not move. I am not motivated to do much of anything. But....
 A few things have changed. I am now forcing myself to walk at least 1 1/2 miles each day. I love to walk and even though I do not feel like walking I have started. I have started to decorated for the fall season and through many tears of sadness and joy I am rediscovering all the crafts my Mother gave me or made for me. I am back to working 2 days a week. I am trying to do the things that were normal before Mom got sick..these are the things that used to be normal.
 The other thing I am going to do is to try to put this blog back on track...a blog of decorating and family...just for fun...ya  know what I mean?
 Now, I know Mom would want me to be happy and I can't be happy unless I share things about her too because when you have a broken heart that is all you really want to talk about. That being the case, I am going to share my memories and thoughts and tears on my other blog. I can not pretend that things are fine but I can separated my blogs so that you can read where you feel comfortable. Don't get me wrong, you will be hearing about Mom sometimes but my tears and my memories will be sent to my other blog at least for now. Do I think this will make me feel better??? I don't know because right now nothing feels better and nothing looks or feels normal so I am forging ahead trying to find that new path I told you about.
  So I will put my camera in my hand and take a few pictures. If I think of something creative, I will share it..for today this is about as creative as it gets, so don't get too excited! For today, well this is the best I can do. But this is a whole lot better than it has been....miss you Mom. Be blessed.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Remembering. With Love

I am trying to settle into a new type of normal. I no longer go to my Mothers' home everyday, she is in her Heavenly home, I am spending more time in my own home. After reading so many of your wonderful words of wisdom, I have decided to do at least a little fall decorating. So, I went to the basement and opened the first container and the tears started to roll. I found so many items that Mom had made or we made together. There are many things that she purchased for me and the sweater pumpkins that we made last year...Oh so many happy memories that made me cry even more. But it is better to have the tears as I remember than to let all the items be packed away for another year.
After crying through the first tub...I will save the other two for tomorrow but for today I am happy for all the great memories of the love she so freely passed to me and my family...that will linger a lifetime.
I will post a few pictures when I get started and after the tears I am hoping for a few warm smiles...good night dear friends.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Well today I thought about putting out a few autumn decorations, I have seen some of the most amazing decorations in blog land.  I am just not sure how I feel about decorating when we are in the midst of grief. I feel like it is so pointless but then I remember that Mom made so many of the decorations and she often bought some of them for me too. So now I have to decide if I am honoring her by decorating or honoring her by not decorating. I am so exhausted and yet I have no motivation. I think I will consider it for tomorrow..or maybe I won't...Oh how I miss my Mother.
 Thank you all for sticking with me though this terrible time. I am trying to find some stay with me a little longer. Blessings to you.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Trying to find a new path

Well, here I am. I miss my Mother. She is gone and my world is forever changed. It is now time for me to step up and be the same kind of mom that she was to me! I will find the strength to move very slowly through the pain and begin to find my path.
 At some point we will find a new normal but for now we are trying to carve a new path without the one who held us together.  I will honor her memory by honoring her wishes. And for today I will just try to find the energy, the strength and the will to more forward. I am holding on to the hand of God...and for today that is enough.