Sunday, September 4, 2011

Well today I thought about putting out a few autumn decorations, I have seen some of the most amazing decorations in blog land.  I am just not sure how I feel about decorating when we are in the midst of grief. I feel like it is so pointless but then I remember that Mom made so many of the decorations and she often bought some of them for me too. So now I have to decide if I am honoring her by decorating or honoring her by not decorating. I am so exhausted and yet I have no motivation. I think I will consider it for tomorrow..or maybe I won't...Oh how I miss my Mother.
 Thank you all for sticking with me though this terrible time. I am trying to find some stay with me a little longer. Blessings to you.


NancyD said...

Oh dear heart goes out to you at this time. I know how you miss your mother, just reading your posts (I'm way behind) makes my heart ache. Take comfort in knowing that your mother is at peace and that you have such wonderful and special memories. They will be with you always.

Deb @ Crows on the Cupola said...

Dianntha.. I know it is a very difficult time for you, and trying to decide whether to decorate for the holidays is tough. I can tell you that I went thru this when I lost my mother. I just didn't know what to do and felt so empty inside. But after deep thought and acceptance, I did what I knew she would want me to do and that was not to change my routine or our traditions. I put out her handmades because I knew she would not want them to be packed away. I thought if I didn't put them out, it would be a whole year before the season returned and I would be decorating again. I felt that was too long to wait to hold and display these precious pieces of our past. The first time I took her things out of the totes I was so heartbroken I cried until I could not cry anymore. The next year I cried a little and the all the times since I smile, fondly and lovingly thinking about how much of herself she put into her creations or how much time she spent finding just the right things for me. What to do will come to you Dianntha. Just give yourself time. I am praying that you will find peace and comfort during these months ahead.

nancy huggins said...

Just take your time and it will get easier even though you will always miss her. I was that way and then after a while I started putt things and pictures around more and it's not such a sad memory anymore but is one that mekes me happy. We all understand what you are going through and have been there. Just think about what she would want you to do..I am sure she wouldn't want you to be so sad all the time. It will get easier as time goes by and you will find what to do that is best for you :)

Deppen homestead 1862 said...

It is a very exhausting time for you~ I felt the same~ as if someone had drained everything out of me~ like empty inside~
My Mom & I both worked on the farm together so it was hard for me her not being there each day working with me~But I made it with tippy toe steps~ I kept telling myself~ something my Mom told me before she passed~
She said"Teresa you are strong you can do anything you put your mind to it~ you can do this"
At another time or even to someone else these words may not seem much~ but for me after she passed I had to reach down deep inside me to find that strength~ she knew I would need that~
What you are going through~ we all react to it differently there is no wrong or right way~
The urge will come to you to decorate, then you will~
This will sound crazy to some~ but I can remember going through Mom's loss & talking to her as I was working ~ I would say silly things like Hey Mom, want to milk that cow~ and giggle & giggle~
then there was times I would just lean on a cow & cry & cry~
To this day though I still will talk with her giggle & cry~

Hang in there~
Don't be too hard on yourself~you are suffering from a huge loss~
find that strength your beautiful Mom gave you~
I wish I could just give you a hug & tell you everything will be okay, it will~ but it will be different~
So my hugs to you & many prayers~
We are all here for you~

bettyj said...

Obviously I didn't know YOUR mother, but knowing Mothers(and I am one) I bet she would want you to go right on doing things you and she loved. You can tell by your blog how close the two of you were and what wonderful memories you have. People all handle grief differently. It gives me comfort seeing things around me that those I have lost loved too.

Joy said...

I can't imagine how you are feeling, but I do believe your Mother is by your side and would want you to continue your traditions. Hugs and Peace to you.

Becky said...

I felt and am still feeling the same way as you are now.
Just be kind to yourself,and take one day at a time.
Your mother would want you to do the things you would normally do.
But I understand you feeling the confusion and just wondering to do them or if you even want to decorate right now.
I have been in that same slump but fall is so many things to me.I finally got a few of my fall things out.I think my mother would be happy.She knew fall is my very favorite season.
Just do what you feel up to doing and when you feel like doing it.Your mother would want you to go on doing what you love...Blessings and peace to you.Becky

Debbie said...

~Babysteps...Dianntha. Love and prayers.


Sally said...

Just want to send you lots of hugs Dianntha.

Lili Bear said...

The "inspiration" will come in time, sweetie. Of course, your mother wouldn't want you to mourn for too long, but she'd understand.
I lost my gran one month before Xmas last year and I displayed the decorations earlier than usual, probably because we all felt we needed a little cheer up...
Take good care of yourself, good care of your family. Because you also honor your mum by doing so.
Big huge comforting hug,